“About half the population needs to make a real effort to feel desire, Weiner Davis said. A reluctant spouse must make a “decision for desire,” she said. “If you wait for the feeling to sort of wash over you, when the dogs are out of the house, the phones are not ringing, the kids are in bed, you’re never going to have sex.” ~ Weiner Davis… author of The Sex Starved Marriage.
Besides having the name Weiner (which effin’ rocks btw) she’s spot on in her book.
Desire can’t wait for when all the kids are sleeping or the laundry is done or when you have the time. If you wait until there is time then you just won’t get your groove on. Sexual intimacy is vital to any relationship and has more to do with self actualization than you think (no I didn’t say self stimulation you dirty birds)
It’s about allowing yourself to feel desire AND about feeling desirable. Sensual is a state of mind which then leads to the body… not the other way around. Do things that feel good to your body… a long luxurious bubble bath, wearing a silky robe, request a body massage from your partner (yes I said request… knowing what feels good to you is a turn on to your partner… if it’s not you may need a new partner).
Sexy is a state of mind. Sensuality is vital to a relationship and in this world of manic “busy”, it makes sense that you carve out time to FEEL sensual. Your sexual health is important. Dopamine says this is so.
Couples need to put as much energy into their sex lives as their job and children. True dat. It’s important.