me me me

On November 10, 2012 by a.G.

It’s one of the prevailing characteristics of the human condition, a basic tenant of survival and success… thinking of oneself. We have to do this self awareness dance or nothing ever changes. Introspection is vital to a well lived life. Being able to focus on yourself so that you’re aware of things that fit and (hopefully) things that do not fit… with who you’re striving to be today is uber important.

And if you think about it people really really like talking about themselves. It’s a conversation booster… prompting self disclosure. If you want a person to feel comfortable and desired, you smatter a bit of such self disclosure in with a bunch of questions about them. And then you listen… and then talk… and then listen… this is called conversation.

Give and take right? I share a little and then you share a little and then we find common interests and shared dreams and goals and aspirations. This is called bonding and relating. This is the good stuff. But it’s a dance.

One person talks too much too long and you end up with swollen toes from being stepped on incessantly. You talk about yourself too much and you lose dance partners left and right.

Ever been in a one sided conversation (or relationship)? Where you find yourself listening much much more than you speak? Where your partner focuses on their needs, their wants, their desires, their interests, them… selves? It’s not fun. Trust me on this.

Conversely have you found yourself with a person who won’t share? This also is selfishness, just the flip side of the same coin. You’re pulling and pushing a prodding and asking and tugging and dying to getsome kind of response but to no avail. Silence and “Nothing” is all you get. Not much fun either.

The dance of relationships (and life if you think about it) is balance. A dance partner that can move withyou, step for step. You may need to learn to dance together but that’s okay as long as there is willingness to try. Imbalanced partners make for shitty dancing.

Focusing on yourself is fantastic when you use your superpowers for good. And by good I mean developing a healthful view of yourself with humility. (Humility being defined as being no better or worse than anyone else) But too much focus on yourself… too much talking about yourself… too much me me me… leads to generally pissing people off. Not enough talking about yourself, not standing up for yourself or getting your own needs met leads to being an emotional punching bag of your own making. Silence can also be a manipulative tool.

Ebb and flow people… ebb and flow. Find yours… get off the overt me kick… get your back up off the wall – flower. Balance is key. It’s NOT all about you… or all about ME… it’s all about WE.

~ a.G.~

disclaimer: yes this might sound like fluffy froo froo BS but it’s truth. no injuries were incurred in the writing of this post from touchy feely emotions but the writers street cred is shot. totally worth it

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